Just south of insanity

"A week ago we had sex with the lights off, and afterwards I rolled away as quickly as I could, and choked back a fistful of tears when you touched my arm; and maybe sometimes I speak in guilty tones and tearful dialects, and I talk of my lungs and the deep breaths they’re trying to take. I am a sinking ship in your bed, and I wonder if there will come a night, when you decide to jump ship and save yourself. But the sun is rising, I have stayed up all night trying to work my love and apologies into the same poem, and this is it.

This is for all the people who love people like me:

I’m sorry for my bones full of doubt, and my heart full of hurricanes; I’m sorry for the mess I make of your bed and of your head. I know there are nights when I’m only half full; when my body is there but the rest of me is elsewhere; there are nights when I’m hiding between my own hands.

I have never been to Ohio, but I know that the Cuyahoga River flows both north and south, I know it’s caught fire 19 times. I know that in my dreams, I am the Cuyahoga; I am crooked and on fire, I can barely keep up with myself.

I am wrapped in thorns, but I can smell the flowers blooming.

Thank you for your patience; for understanding that some days I will form knots out of loose ends, that some nights I will untie all those knots. Thank you for your soft hands; thank you for reaching across the bed when I roll away. Thank you not letting me fall asleep alone, even if it’s just your voice on the phone.

It is 5 in the morning, and I hope you know that despite the nights I am sewing myself shut, I love you. I am watching the day start, and you are asleep and there is nothing I wouldn’t do to make loving people like me easier for people like you. But I can hear your voice in my ear; you wouldn’t change a thing.

And lover, hold onto this metaphor: have you ever stayed up all night, stayed up until you can see the sun peek over the moon, you can watch the stars bow out, and say their goodbyes? That is where you’ll find my love. This thunder in my chest booms for you; the melody in my laugh falls into rhythm with your heartbeat; your voice the crescendo to my day; and your inhaling and exhaling lungs play my favorite lullabies.

Hold onto this metaphor: I am a river, and all my currents lead to you, no matter which way they flow."

- blessed be those who love the broken. (jl)

(via theforgetfulelephant)

"I have scars on my hands from touching certain people."

- J.D. Salinger (via raychillster)

(Source: quotes-shape-us, via theforgetfulelephant)

"Every wall is a door."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson (via likeafieldmouse)








im not even an artist and these prices are hurting my feelings 

This is what I have to dig through every time I look for new jobs to apply for.

For non-artists, let’s give you a little perspective.

For me, an illustration takes a bare minimum of 6 hours. Mind you, that’s JUST the drawing part. Not the research, or the communications, or gathering information. Just drawing.

That’s if it’s a simple illustration.

My art deco or more detailed stuff can take 20+ hours each.

Even simple, cartoony things still take at least 3 hours.

Let’s go with the second one. 2 illustrations for $25. Figuring 6 hours each. 12 hours total, for JUST the drawings. That’s approximately $2.08/hour. 

Asking these prices is an insult. But what’s even more hurtful is there are people out there that will take these jobs. Which only encourages rates like this to be acceptable. And there are people who will try to say these are just what you have to do to get started.

I believed that. So my first coloring gigs were just $10/page. The day someone offered me $25/page for just flatting work, I realized just how wrong I’d been. I’m still not making the rates I’d like, but now I refuse anything below $25/page. Because there is value in my time.

In any standardized industry, even ones that pay piece rate over hourly, these numbers are criminal.

Do your fellow artists a favor. Never accept jobs like these. There are others that pay legitimate rates. Or at least closer to legitimate.

Such baby bullshit. Don’t even get out of bed for these rates.

    If you are an artist who wants to make money off their art, I highly suggest you buy The Graphic Artist’s Guild Handbook. It goes in depth about copyright issues and even contains contract and model release templates. The 2013 book *I believe* states the average professional charges $72 an hour. This article calculated that to make a 40k annual salary you would need to charge about $60 per hour.

  After graduating from Art Center in 2012, I think I asked for somewhere between $35-45 an hour and got laughed at by multiple big name clients, which was infuriating, sadly expected, and terrifying with over $100K worth of student loans staring me in the face. If they tell you it will be “great exposure” that’s a red flag. Ask yourself how their exposure can compare to your Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Flickr and Facebook pages combined? 

And when you do get a decent paying gig, PROTECT YOURSELF. You have the right to negotiate and revise a contract. Do not start a job until you have a contract signed. If they don’t provide you with one, MAKE ONE. And make sure you have your bases covered. You can specify in a contract that maybe two revisions are included in your cost, and if they ask you to revise the piece more than twice, they will have to pay extra. In terms of payment schedule, I usually do the 50/50 Method (50% before, 50% after) or the 3/3/3 Method (1/3 before, 1/3 in the middle, 1/3 after all work has been received). Both of those are pretty standard in the industry, as they guarantee you will get compensated for your time, even if the job goes bad.

Remember you have a skill, and you have spent time honing that skill and you deserve to be adequately paid for that time and effort. You will have clients dismiss you because, honest to God they think, “Well, I could do that if I wanted. Hell, my five year old does it now.” No they can’t, because they didn’t, they don’t, they won’t and they probably never will. And good luck hiring a five year old. They can’t keep a fucking deadline.

And in a last ditch effort they’ll say, “But that drawing only took you an hour!” Son, that drawing took me 20. fucking. years.

10 Dollars for 1 minute of animation.  Oh my god my heart.  It took my team 6 months and a team of 12 to make a 4 minute short. 

The Graphic Artist’s Guild Handbook

I second this book! I’ve had it for several years now, and it’s been a HUGE help in my work as a freelance artist. It gives great advice on what to charge for different areas of art!

FAO any of my followers who do this kind of work.

It’s relevant for a lot of areas in the art industry, but ESPECIALLY for illustration/animation etc. It’s not directly relevant for me but it still drives me mad when people have the audacity to assume that work like this is only worth a few pounds/dollars. Do people seriously not realise how long making art actually takes? Argh. 

(via theforgetfulelephant)